Do you ever just feel....Blah?!
I am stuck in a rut and I need to pull myself out because I am driving myself insane! Everything these days just seems to feel so despressing. My jogger stroller is messed up. Clay tried to fix it with some fix-a-flat stuff, but the tire is crazy hard now. I really just want a new one and I keep trying craigslist, but noone is getting back to me about the dumb Bob strollers and I refuse to pay $350 for a stroller (plus we just can't afford it either). So it's been difficult to find how I am going to run lately.
I feel "fat." Yes, I know I am not fat...but you try having a baby and afterwards nothing fits you like before and then tell me that it isn't okay for me to FEEL fat. My closet looks so depressing...stuff that was big on me before having Kaylee now fits perfect or even a little snug. I hate it. I am almost down to my pre-pregnancy weight (just one more pound to go), but nothing fits the same! It's sooo annoying! I just so badly want to go on a shopping spree, but we don't have the money. It's so frustrating.
I want to work, but I am facing that hard decision of when it is okay to go back to work. I feel like so many wifes look down on me because I actually want to work and "be away from my daughter." Even though that's not it at all. I love Kaylee with ALL of my heart, but I need some me time too. Working would give us extra money too. I am facing a hard decision of when it is okay to go back to work and how much should I work. It's a very hard decision. I don't want to spend a ton of time away from Kaylee if I am not going to make enough to make up for the time I am missing with my daughter. Ideally, I would find something part time...but it's difficult to find something part time that will coincide with daycare...and that would allow me to make enough to pay for daycare.
I miss my friends. Yes, I have made some new friends while here in Oak Harbor...but it just isn't the same. I miss my Meridian girls. I miss Kim, Siobhan, and Shawna. I miss Ashley and Sadie and all of the other girls that left before I did (like Mandy). I just miss having a good friend to talk to and to feel free to just walk over to their house and just chat! It's just not like that here.
Anyways...like I said, I am stuck in rut and just need to pull myself out! I am annoying myself!
awww miss you too Jen!! I think you should drive on down to Lemoore and we can hangout at my pool all day long! You can't be depressed when you are tan and the sun is shining all day long!!
ReplyDeleteJen,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are in a funk. I have felt that way too, minus the baby stuff. My problem is clothes don't fit because I have lost muscle mass and gained... dare I say it... fat mass! I am also sorry that I have dropped the ball and not gotten back to you about lunch. I have had my ups and downs throughout this deployment and I have just let things slip past me. Have you been to Washington Park? Would you like to pack a picnic and take a walk there with me this week? About the BobStroller on craigslist - my neighbors all have kids and talk about kid stuff all the time. A few of them have mentioned the price of Bobstrollers and have alternative ideas for the same concept, lower price. www.instep.net/product/swivel_wheel_joggers/
I guess I could have written all of this on facebook!
Hi Jen... Trust me, I know the "fat" feeling. You can be down to your pre-pg weight but hips spread and things "adjust" and it takes awhile to get it back to where it was. I can promise you that everything will go back into place! I found found the difference with girls vs boys are that girls spread the hips more than boys so it takes awhile to get them back!!!!! But I know you look amazing!!!! I really miss you. It is hard leaving old friends and making new ones. I will call you this week so we can catch up! I am sorry I haven't call you back. My nieces have been here and we have been going a million miles an hr. I take them to the airport on Tuesday!!! MISS YOU!! SMILE.... Give Kaylee a big hug for me..... =)
ReplyDeleteSadie
(Not signed in again!!!) HA HA!